The Speech - Tips & Advice
Part One: Some great tips on how to deliver the perfect Best Man's
speech. Part 2
The Best Man's Speech - Nerve Wracking Stuff!
This is the part that most attendant wedding guests will remember you for,
regardless of how well you do everything else. You could be dapper as hell,
courteous, punctual and charming throughout the entire day. But if you screw up
the speech, bore the arse off those present, or generally do for public
speaking what Fred West did for gardening, then that's what people will take
away with them as their memory of the Best Man.
Top Tip: The stag night can provide loads of material for your best man speech.
Write it early!
Well, yes it is. But that's all the more reason to make sure that yours is warm,
humourous and well-received. There are a hundred ways to cock it up, but far
less if you put together a loose skeleton of a speech months in advance, adding
to it whenever you hear or read a fact or quote that fits the bill. You do not
want to be ducking behind the church with a notepad and pencil only ten minutes
before the happy couple tie the knot. You ideally want it sorted out weeks in
advance, save for any last minute touch of creative panache that puts your
personal seal on things.
Once the speech is written, you'll enjoy the build-up to the day so much more.
Of course, there is also the possibility that you could write a truly
outstanding speech, only to then completely balls it up when the time comes to
deliver it! You're right, it IS unfair...
Natural Talent
There are those rarities of Best Man who jot down a couple of anecdotes the
night before the service, worry not a jot, arrive at the church looking
ice-cool, and then, at the required time, stand and ad-lib to perfection,
regaling both sides of the wedding party with pathos, wit and colour, before
sitting down to rapturous applause and the heartfelt admiration and awe of
every person there....
Everyone Else
....And then there's everyone else. Those of us who need at least three pints
before we can even think about being funny, and even then only to certain mates
in the local pub. The notion of standing (mainly sober) in front of an
attentive and silent throng of hats, suits and expectant stares from both sides
of the union, the bride's family steeling themselves for anything too crude or
revealing about the groom, the groom himself fearing the damage that could be
done in those next 10 to 15 minutes.. It's a chilling prospect if you go about
it the wrong way, and your start to the monologue is absolutely critical. With
the blank pad in front of you, we now suggest several themes for your
consideration - and several more to make sure you banish from your mind
forever:
Best Man Speech Topics
Safe Bets
- The Happy Couple's Unique Magic
- The Groom's Amusing Childhood Stories
- The Venue
- The Food
- How Nervous You Are/Were
- Compliments to the Bridesmaids
- Compliments to the Bride's Family
- Compliments to the Groom's Family
- Their future children
- The Toast/Finale
Might Work if Kept Reasonably clean
- The Honeymoon
- How The Couple First Met
- The Groom's Embarrassing Moments/Habits
Don't Even Think About It!
- The stag weekend
- His previous partners
- Her previous partners
- Double entendres about the bride's mother
- Slagging off the food
- Slagging off the venue
- Which bridesmaid you'd prefer to shag
- The Groom's secret incontinence/adoption/cross-dressing
Seriously though: There's no quicker way to make a total arse of yourself than
by over stepping the mark and ruining the big day for the bride....if in
doubt...DON'T!!
»» If that's not enough -
Onwards to Part 2