Groom Guide - Speech, Duties, Tips, Info and Advice

The Groom...An Introduction

Welcome to the Groom's Guide Page

"...those dulcet sounds in break of day
that creep into the dreaming bridegroom's ear,
and summon him to marriage." (The Merchant Of Venice)

Are you sure you're sure?!

For any man on the verge of popping the vital question to their beloved, pay heed to Shakespeare's eloquent summary on engagement & nagging. It would appear that, even back in Billy's age, where tights and treason ran wild, no sooner had a lovesick couple set the date than the unsuspecting male would find his blissful Saturday morning lie-ins shattered by the very non "dulcet" wedding concerns of his panicking bride-to-be: "Which hotel are we going to put your parents in?"... "Beef or lamb for main course?".. and the unavoidably crucial "Re the invites - horses or swans?"

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The word "wedlock" derives from wedd (to pledge) and lac (to carry out an action), so you can't really get a word that carries more commitment and promise than that, can you? There was a time, believe it or not, when the act of marriage involved bunging the bride's father a house or spot of land as payment for his daughter.

Nowadays, however, a handshake and a promise to "treat her right" will suffice. You may also have to get all blokey with him, especially in the early days, and pay homage to his DIY abilities when he takes you for a man-to-man chat in the garden and shows you his pond. Failing that, you may have to follow your new in-law down to his allotment and profess undying admiration for his prize marrows. Just go with it as it's all part of the ritual and every bit as essential to the long-term harmony of your married home as the smoothness of the wedding day or the naming of your children...

"I want your daughter's hand...well, both of them actually."

There are plenty of folk who will tell you that the wedding day is purely for the bride. It may feel like that in the build-up at times, but it isn't. The wedding day is every bit as important for you as it is for her. You'll be pledging your troth in front of all your friends and family, and a wedding occasion lingers long in the memory for 99% of those who attend (the 1% being the under-5s and your permanently-pissed Uncle Jimmy).. so treat it lightly at your peril! On the other hand, Britain's psychiatric wards are full of young couples who've over-planned their matrimonial showcase, forgetting the excellent advice that their parents - as your parents will - issued them very early on:

"Enjoy the occasion, 'cause it'll be gone in a flash."

Like teenage sex and Cup Final appearances, wedding days are over before their participants even know it, so by all means plot your day methodically and purposefully. But never lose sight of what makes a good wedding - a couple's love taking centre-stage against a backdrop of smiles, tears, photos, confetti, bad dancing and cake.

»» Ok, whats first?: How To Propose?

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