A Successful Groom's Speech

The Groom's Speech - Advice & Ideas

Advice and Tips on the key ingredients behind a successful Groom's Speech.

A lot of the best advice we can give on making a good speech is covered in Best Man's Speech, however, whilst the expectancy is for the Best Man to make his 10-20 minutes light-hearted and funny, tradition has it that the Groom's speech should be more heartfelt, more sincere and, dare we say it, a tad more formulaic - in so much as a great deal more important boxes have to be ticked.

In short, if the Best Man screws up his speech, it won't affect the bride too much, and even less for the two main families. But if the groom makes a complete Baddiel of it, how are you going to live that down when you show up at the new in-laws' a month later to watch the wedding video?!

Rise to the challenge

The Groom's speech is pivotal to the occasion, and a big test of your sense of responsibility. But that doesn't mean you have to make it sound like a check-list and bore the arse off everyone.

You've sweated blood for this occasion, so it would be criminal to let other parties steal the honours at speech time. The guests want to hear a likeable, sincere, clear-speaking and occasionally funny Married Man after they've munched on their chicken chasseur, so you owe it to yourself to show them what you're made of. It will also add another few Brownie points to your account in the eyes of your new bride, which can only mean good news for the wedding night..

Some speech must have's

There are several subtle differences in the style and content of the groom's monologue when compared with the Best Man's. For starters, the main man is expected to honour both sets of parents on the head table, to pay the bride's family his utmost respect and thanks for putting on the event, whilst at the same time reassuring them that their daughter is in the best possible hands, stating that she is now with a man who completely loves her and perhaps giving examples of what he likes most about her (stay off complimenting her breasts at this point). In paying tribute to his own parents - for their support, love and guidance - the groom will endear himself to everyone in the room, though at this point he can also expect his mother to start blubbering like Gwyneth Paltrow on tear gas!

Discredit your best man at the earliest opportunity

It will also be highly expected of you as the groom to light-heartedly rip the character of your Best Man to shreds. Whatever story you tell about him, of course, is going to be returned in spades 5 minutes later when he gets up to do his own character assassination, so you may as well get a great (clean-ish) one in while you can and let him do his worst. But it is the lovesick declaration of good intent towards your new bride that everyone expects to hear the most at this point, and to this end just let your natural feelings flesh out the skeleton of the speech for maximum effect. A toast to round off, and you'll sit down wondering why the hell you've worried yourself sick for 9 months..

Speech Pointers

Winners

• "To Deirdre and Roy, I thank you for treating me like one of your own."
• "Hasn't the food, service and setting been top class?"
• "How can I ever thank my parents for all their love and support?"
• "The celebrating has only just begun, and I'm so chuffed that each of you are here to be part of this special day."
• "I knew from the moment I saw Kate that she was my soulmate."
• "It's nice to see the Best Man in a suit for something other than a court appearance!"
• "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you - my beautiful bride."

Michael Winners

• "Well, I suppose you've got to tie yourself down at some point."
• "The mother-in-law looks like Frankie Howerd, fair enough. But it'll be ages before the daughter goes the same way."
• "The last wedding I went to had far nicer bridesmaids than this one."
• "This food cost good money, so just get me or the bride's parents a few drinks later on and we'll call it quits."
• "To be honest, I can't wait for you lot to do one so I can get her upstairs."
• "Anyway, here's the Best Man - a total ****."

»» The Ceremony is over - Is it time to relax?

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