Monday is a hard day for everyone. After spending your hen weekend with friends, family and, more often than not, several bottles of wine and the occasional butler in the buff – it’s, quite literally, a living nightmare attempting to drag yourself out of bed, stumble over to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee and breeze into work looking super fresh. But, if you follow our life-changing tips (they are, honest) – you’ll soon be welcoming Monday with open arms.
1. Wake up early...
We defy any of you to find a greater feeling than waking up before your alarm and realising you have 20 minutes left in bed.
2. Pretend it's not Monday. Always.
It may be a Monday, but that doesn’t mean you have to act like it is one. Float about your day acting like the weekend is upon you and then curl up in a ball when you get home and realise it’s not. Just four more days.
3. Strut into work in your finest suit.
Fake it ‘til you make it. Oh, and word to the wise, lasses – don’t let your boss see you hungover, it will not end well.
4. Or, work that shabby chic look.
If you really are that bad (you must have had a blinder of a hen weekend and you’re welcome), you better rock that mothball sweater and jeans reserved for DIY like a trooper.
5. Forget your regular flat-white from Greggs, you NEED this.
This is absolutely not the time for a regular coffee and a cupcake. The only thing that is going to get you through this day is inconceivable amounts of coffee (invest in a bucket) and, hey - maybe even chuck in a few energy drinks for good measure.
6. Keep expectations low
Let’s be honest, in your state – you aren’t going to get much done. Rather than just give up, keep your task list small (making it into work alive is a good place to start) and attempt to work through it. Remember to give yourself plenty of breaks, though (on the sly, of course).
7. ...and watch this gif of a pig on a treadmill.
If this micro pig running on a treadmill does not motivate you, then, I’m sorry, ladies – nothing much will.
8. Try to keep conversations with other humans to a minimum.
It’s best if you keep a wide berth from your colleagues today. You are not in the mood to talk to anyone, or just generally be near people. But, do reserve your best smile for the big boss (show us those pearly whites, ladies).
9. Drink a lot of gin (after work, of course).
Nothing soothes a sore head quite like hair of the dog. Get the girls together and share your woeful Monday stories. Trust us, Monday nights don’t get better than that.
10. If all else fails, start an email chain of hot men.
This is the only thing that is going to see you through the day. Just look at his cute specs.
By Lauren Green
A Yorkshire lass with an obsession with the Tudor monarchy. Used to fancy the man from Aqua. Now has a fear of the dark, hoovers and ghosts.