After a couple of (or ten) cocktails, we usually find ourselves uttering words of wisdom, so we’ve decided to round up the normal sequence of events after we go out for just 'one drink'.
This is the best possible way to start a night and will definitely not end up with you waking up tomorrow and regretting every single possible thing you did the night before. ‘Let’s have some tequila!’
2. ‘Why don’t we do this more often?’ ‘This is so much fun!’
Because you hate everyone you are out with and you’ve ended the night losing your phone, keys, dignity and drink – all in that order. ‘So, yeah, next Tuesday?’
4. ‘No, we should definitely (insert hairbrained scheme here)!’
Last time us lot at LNOF HQ went out, we decided to move to Austria and teach each other how to ski. So, yeah - you should definitely do everything you planned tonight, absolutely nothing can go wrong.
5. ‘I just don’t understand why you’re single. Look at your face – it’s so pretty!’
Closely followed by ‘I envy you being single actually, it must be so great going home alone.’ Yeah, we’ve all got that friend.
6. ‘I’m not drunk, you’re drunk!’
Kelly is way more drunk than you. You just made it all the way to the bathroom by yourself and managed to send this text ‘I’n inm thh3 t0uil;et. H3l;p!’
7. ‘Where the f*** has everyone gone?’
‘Oh, there you all are.’ ‘No, please stay out. We’re not even that drunk yet!’ Someone get this girl a taxi.
8. ‘I’m so hungry, I’m going to die.’
‘Seriously, I’ve never been this hungry in my life. Like ever!’ Ah, pizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzza. The end to every good night out and also doubles up as breakfast when you wake up with your head in the box.
By Lauren Green
A Yorkshire lass with an obsession with the Tudor monarchy. Used to fancy the man from Aqua. Now has a fear of the dark, hoovers and ghosts.