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How to Be the Perfect Bridesmaid

In my experience, being a bridesmaid can go one of two ways: absolutely swimmingly or life-shatteringly horrendous. My first time taking on the prestigious title was a great success (granted, I was only eight), but the second time – not so much.

Pale pink bridesmaid dresses

The picture perfect bridesmaid

Unfortunately, I’m not as cute as I was when I was eight, and can no longer get away with tripping up the aisle and spilling drinks down myself, which is, incidentally, exactly what happened during my aunt's wedding. And, after that disaster, I have learnt some tough lessons along the way (albeit, whilst covered in red wine), so I feel it is time to share my words of wisdom with the world. And as wedding season is upon us, lasses, what better time to look at just what it takes to be the perfect bridesmaid?

1. Throw a mint hen party

A woman on the phone in the film Bridesmaids

via whatshouldbetchescallme.tumblr.com

Well, you’re in the right place to do that (obviously), so that’s an excellent start. Just don’t follow my aunt’s lead and end the night in a working men’s club but, by all means, feel free to don some willy accessories and have a go on the karaoke. Absolutely everyone loves a drunk performance of ‘I’m Too Sexy’ at 11pm.

2. Patience is key

Two women playing tennis from the film Bridesmaids

via BuzzFeed

Yes, as a bridesmaid you may have to sift through countless wedding invitations and choose your favourite out of 18 relatively identical bouquets, but, hey - this is one of your best friends and, after a couple of glasses of wine, you'll both be in your element.

3. Tact is your best friend

Bridesmaids trying on dresses in the film Bridesmaids

via whatshouldbetchescallme.tumblr.com

This one might be a bit of a bitter pill to swallow, but it will just end in tears if you blurt out how much you hate the dress and would rather walk down the aisle naked than wear that repulsive, taffeta, poufy monstrosity. A bit of tact goes a long way, lasses.

4. Stay connected

A woman speaking into a microphone

via BuzzFeed

You may not know the other bridesmaids, but each of you definitely knows the bride well and, you know what they say, knowledge is power and all that. So, make sure you get a group chat, or email, going and discuss plans with each other.

5. Keep calm and carry on

A woman drinking a bottle of wine from the film Bridesmaids

via BuzzFeed

Whether that involves taking her to a spa for a fancy massage, or, perhaps chucking a bottle of Prosecco down her neck – just do it. It falls on you to make sure the bride is serene as she waltzes down the aisle and not a clammy, pale mess.

6. Be on makeup alert

Two women speaking with chocolate in their teeth

via BuzzFeed

There’s going to be tears and, more often than not, the bride is going to have one too many champers to calm her nerves, smudge her makeup and mascara is going to go a-running. So, make sure you’ve got a pack of tissues in your clutch and you’re by her side during the day.

7. Get the party started

A scene from Bridesmaids with all of the bridesmaids dancing at the wedding

via theodysseyonline.com

At every wedding, there’s an always awkward hour where everyone wants to dance to Whigfield Saturday Night, but they don’t want to be the first ones on the dance floor. Well, as a bridesmaid, it’s your job to get everyone up and showcase your killer moves.

By

A Yorkshire lass with an obsession with the Tudor monarchy. Used to fancy the man from Aqua. Now has a fear of the dark, hoovers and ghosts.

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