These days it seems that not a week goes past without some Guardian-esque piece of journalism condemning the tradition of the clichéd alpha-male stag do.
Cue nostalgic whimsy from the older generation of journalists, reminiscing of their stag do ‘back in the day’; a real-ale-pub-job (none of this two-days-in-Magaluf-nonsense), a roaring fire, good friends and good conversation. Simplicity and thriftiness were at the night’s core and nobody felt the need to drown their sorrows for the groom-to-be’s desertion of ‘the lads’ for a life with the old ball-and-chain, or punish him with an act of dark humiliation.
"Anyone remember how we got here?"
Then there’s the earnest curiosity of the young male journalist; baffled by the stereotypical antics of rowdy stag groups and earning the respect of readers who feel relief at being represented; reassured that not all young men want to drink until they vomit on the streets of Reykjavik or watch women mud-wrestle in an abandoned barn in Surrey.
The truth is, that the majority of stag dos are activity-packed and booze-fuelled - but are essentially drama-free. We’ve organised over 20,000 stag weekends and never had a jot of trouble in all these years. But a few mates going quad-biking, drinking in a beer garden and ending the night in a rare (for them) strip club is hardly newsworthy - the absence of anybody being chained to a lamp-post, bundled into the back of a car in a fake-kidnapping or visiting a Dutch brothel just doesn’t have the same dramatic impact.
However, though the raucous reality of stag dos may be few and far between, we love it when an outrageous stag do story hits the media. Because it may not be our style, but it is thoroughly entertaining – and the fact that this stuff doesn’t happen to our customers means that we’re doing something right! We’ve rounded up some of the best (or worst, depending on how you look at it) stories of when stag dos go wrong. You’ll feel positively saint-like in comparison.
It's all Downhill from Here...
Let’s be fair to the lads – this is a pretty decent prank. But they took it too far.
With the wedding taking place in the Alps during a holiday of winter sports and skiing, the stag party decided to maximise this golden opportunity by
waiting until the groom-to-be was absolutely hammered and then getting their doctor friend to put a cast on his leg, pretending he’d broken it when he was drunk.
However, despite planning to tell him before the big day, one by one the group bottled it. The groom ended up ordering new wedding
trousers to fit around his cast and went through the whole of the wedding, including the wedding photographs, before one of the stag party
confessed three days later… the funny side was not seen by the (un)happy couple.
She's a Knock-Out
I might look elegant, but these shoes can kill a man
Here’s a little bit of LNOF HQ trivia here to lay the foundations for this one. Once upon a time, many moons ago (about ten years), one of our sales
executives drunkenly tried to compete with a stripper to prove he was as both as agile and as talented as the lovely lady
herself. Unfortunately, his (highly un-erotic) performance concluded with a very clumsy handstand, where he accidentally kicked the
stripper in the head and knocked her clean out. (She was fine, he was mortified – there were no serious consequences!)
We think she must be this lass taking her revenge on punters: When Michael Ireland went on his stag do in South Florida in 2008, he was
accidentally kicked in the eye by a particularly enthusiastic lap-dancer – and we’ve all seen those stripper shoes. He was left
permanently seeing double and was awarded $650,000 in compensation - but hey, he gets two for the price of one at strip-clubs now!
Hens on a Stag Do
Looks like foul play
Inviting hens on a stag do is a controversial plan anyway, but these two brothers stepped it up a notch and invited six live chickens on
their stag weekend (the chickens cordially accepted) in Bournemouth back in 2011.
The cruel plan was to leave them in the groom-to-be’s bedroom as a ‘surprise’ at the end of the night. However, it was a case of foul play when the rest of the stag do let them loose in the hotel car park and all hell broke loose. Two of the chickens were found dead, two vanished
(never to be seen again) and two were found in a terrified state by the RSPCA. The case ended up in court and the lads were given a hefty fine by the Animal Welfare Act. Rightly so.
Borat's Countryside Kidnapping
This has really escalated
It might be all the range to kidnap your mates these days, but this lot of rowdy stags took it to the extreme. Poor Ollie McAninch was driving along a
quaint country lane with his finacée (who was cruelly in on the whole prank as well) when 16 hooded men jumped out of the bushes and blocked his path.
Brandishing baseball bats and setting off stun grenades, they bound and gagged him, dressed him in a Guantanamo Bay-style
jumpsuit and bundled him into the back of a van. They kept this up for two hours before revealing their identities, but it wasn’t over yet. Ollie was then
forced to cycle 100 miles in a Borat mankini (great costume, by the way. You can find the fetching Borat Mankini here), completing the desired combination of extreme fear and major humiliation.
A week later, the traumatised groom-to-be was diagnosed with shingles - an illness often found in combat veterans – as a result of the stress, and was so
contagious he couldn’t see his fiancée for a month - almost missing his wedding. Nice one, lads.
Always Best to Double Czech
Right, well, definitely time for a burger and a pint then...
There’s making sure you get to the airport in enough time to get frisked through customs, but these lads took it to the extreme. Earlier
this year, one of our stag parties phoned us from the airport to let us know that their flight had been delayed, so we looked into it and
saw that they’d go their dates mixed up. ‘Erm, we hope it’s been delayed by a week then, because you’re not leaving until next Saturday!’
Usually our stag groups get drunk and disorientated upon their return, not before they’ve even set off…
However, we heroically saved the day - in a cool, calm and calculated fashion, as far as they were concerned - but the
office was mayhem, everyone was making frantic phone-calls and trying to reach our Prague team (who happened to be on a
massive night out) and re-book their entire weekend. We sorted it in lightening-quick time, got them on the next flight out there
and re-organised all of their accommodation and activities. That’s just our style.