During Your Stag Night
Pointers for During the stag night, as well as words of advice on why, after the
event, silence is golden...
During
Right, you're doing it now. You've followed all of the advice on our previous
page, you've got a loose route sort-of planned and your first drink is
disappearing at an alarming rate of knots. The ingredients are in place for a
right roister doister. Anything else you need to know?
1: Well firstly, try and utilise a kitty policy for all purchases made
from now on. This has a few notable advantages: a) it prevents the tightwad in
every group from not getting their round in, and as such alleviates any related
anxiety, b) people will stay with the group and are less likely to break off
into smaller cliques at different bars, and c) everyone gets absolutely
shitfaced.
Did you know: We have been organising stag nights since 1999?
2: Secondly, make sure that any games or Stag Night Themes are running to
schedule. For example, there's a rather brilliant game that we know called "Toy
Soldiers", whereby every stag guest gets a different toy soldier (from a big
cheap plastic bag of them) before entering each pub. With a different position
for every soldier (some crawling on their front, some standing a tad camp, and
others saluting an invisible seargant), each of the lads has to mirror the
position of their given soldier whenever a designated person shouts out "Assume
the Position!" For this, the results can be HILARIOUS, though as with any game
in a packedpub, make sure in advance that you've picked out a set of bars whose
regulars have a sense of humour... Planning your stag night
It's not big (and they're not clever)
3: A good-natured end to your one and only stag weekend should not
revolve around whether it's Doorman Jekyll or Bouncer Hyde standing in front of
your pre-selected Nightclub.. Unfortunately it does, so to bypass the risk why
not play it safe and agree as a group (before the Aftershock fairy comes
calling) to split into sober-looking pairs just before you arrive at the club,
smiling politely at your shaven-headed MC, if required, and meeting each other
in there once you're safely ensconced in the smoke, the music and the cleavage.
DO NOT be a smart-arse in the Q. There is no sense risking it and doormen are
not famed for their appreciation of dry wit. You want to get in there and show
the inhabitants just how exceptional your dance technique is (!), so don't
spoil it for yourself at such a late stage. This also applies to those who've
booked with LNOF and are arriving at the head of the Q.
Do NOT let the night end in a fight
Once indoors, make the most of the opportunity and keep the good-humoured nature
of the weekend going with a dollop of boogying, a lorra lorra quaffing and no
end of harmless talent-spotting (though not involving anyone with a boyfriend,
for God's sake!) It's the other kind of alcohol-fuelled "revelry" that we trust
you to avoid of course, with pointless fighting and brainless property damage
leading to so many councils and bar owners placing a 'no stag' policy on many
of their city centre establishments. More repeats of this tiresome lack of
self-control and disprespect will inevitably end up with the usual
resource-draining arrests, bloated fines and yet further tarnishing of the
outstanding tradition that is a man's stag night. In short - Don't behave like
an embarrassing knobhead. That clear enough?
Before getting back to your accommodation (if you can remember where it is,
though don't worry as the beer compass will normally get you there if you
can't!), the prank must be played on the Groom and pictures taken to capture
the moment. To start the ball rolling, why not consider a few of our suggested
stag night pranks, and enjoy the process of plotting his ludicrously silly
practical stitch up!
And now all that remains is to fall asleep face down on the floor in a partial
state of undress, ensuring an awful morning vision for your roommate several
hours later.. Then again, the weekend's been full of top class crack from start
to finish!
»» So you have finished with the stag party.
What happens now?