*Screams* ‘I can’t believe how gorgeous these chair covers / table linens / button-holes / wedding favours are!’
Compliment everything. Seriously, lasses - the amount of time (and money) the bride has put into every minute detail of her big day will bring you out in a cold sweat, so everyone – big smiles, please, even if you really do not care.
‘Your Uncle Nigel and Aunt Marge are so over their argument – it’ll be fine to sit them on the same table.’
Ah, seating arrangements. Attempting to place quarrelling family members, and exes that have just been through a break-up and are intent on befriending several bottles of Pinot Grigio, at opposite sides of the room can tip even the strongest soul over the edge - so make sure you assist in any possible way you can (preferably with several stiff drinks).
Cold Feet are Normal
If the Bride is fluctuating between ‘OH MY GOD, I am so excited to marry the man of my dreams and wear my uh-ma-zing dress’ and ‘Oh, sh*t, I’m only going to sleep with one man for the rest of my life’ – it’s up to you to reassure her. Or, you know, get her drunk.
'We LOVE the Bridesmaid dresses!'
via Reaction Gif
The Bride-to-Be has final say on the dresses, so if she opts for a poufy, taffeta monstrosity – that’s her call. She has a lot going on and she needs your support and encouragement (along with a bottle of vodka). Remember, she’s Charlie and you are her angels.
'Hey, look over there – it’s a golden unicorn!'
via Reaction Gif
As the maid of honour, it’s your job to distract the Bride. After long, sleepless nights spent pouring over hundreds of bridal magazines, seating arrangements and wedding favours; the Bride may be feeling a tad stressed. So, if you can get your hands on a golden unicorn – that’s great.
Don't take it Personally
We all know it to be true – weddings are stressful. And, sometimes, the Bride’s just gotta let it all out. Yes, it may be terrifying and, yes, you may cry, but just imagine what the poor lass is going through whilst planning a day that has to please everyone (read: in-laws). It’s also a mark of your friendship that she is able to unleash the beast in front of you. Silver linings and that.
'OH MY GOD, that dress is perfect for your venue / theme / table decorations / bunting!’
This one you won’t have to lie about, lasses. After the best part of half of a year (and 56,754,867 wine bottles) ensuring everything is perfectly coordinated, you’re going to be a blubbering mess when you see just how beautiful she is on the day. It will all be worth it in the end.