Oh ladies, you know you shalt never compete with football, so don’t even try! And we all know that men are more important than women anyway, so oblige your beloved and become a better woman!*
Don’t Nag
The World Cup is an awfully stressful time for a man. He’s got things on his mind, such as remembering what the offside rule is, keeping track of the score, drinking alcoholic beverages and shouting at the telly! One must remember the strain that he is under and not bother him with petty requests or menial tasks.
Fix Him Some Snacks
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach…
It simply wouldn’t be proper for your man to watch the World Cup without some snacks to keep him company, and your man will be using up all of his energy on the game, so won’t be able to make it to the kitchen. A warm salmon flan, a ploughman’s platter or a fresh scotch egg ought to do the trick. After all, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
Appearances Count for Everything
Flutter your eyelashes and smile!
Did personality ever bag a lady a husband? We think not! Whilst a sweet disposition is important, it simply won’t do if you don’t look just the ticket. Your man has been surrounded by dreary people and man’s business all day, such as briefcases, spreadsheets and men’s cologne, so freshen up, don a slick of rouge lipstick and offer up your bestest smile.
Clean and Tidy
Give it some elbow grease, love
One must always look on the bright side. Your man may be pre-occupied with man things, but think of all the time you have to dust the ceiling and polish the silverware now that he isn’t getting under your feet. Your house will be sparkling from top to toe by the time that the World Cup has finished. Every cloud has a silver lining!
Know Your Place
Don’t talk about things you don’t understand – football is a man’s sport. Trying to discuss the offside rule with your beloved will simply irritate him and you’ll only make yourself look silly. Call up your mother or one of your girlfriends if you fancy a natter. You could take the opportunity to talk about the children, the latest recipes, the cleaning properties of baking soda or hosting dinner parties.
*or, your man could just watch football and you could get on with your life.