How to Survive the Monday after

Last Updated 05/10/2015

Monday’s back. After an epic stag weekend spent paintballing, go karting, shooting and just about any other macho activity you can think of (with a few strip clubs thrown in for good measure) – the thought of going back to the daily grind is enough to bring you all out into a cold sweat. But, we've got a load of tips to survive that first Monday...

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Ignore the snooze button. Always.

A man waking up in bed and muttering

via gurl.com

You don’t need that snooze button in your life – it will bring you no good.

Demolish a fry-up.

A man absolutely demolishing a watermelon

via obsev

The answer to all of your problems? A Full English. If you have time before work, whip out that bacon and get cooking. If not, we suppose you could always settle for a Belvita biscuit.

Suit up and look sharp.

A scene from the film Iron Man, with Robert Downey Jr holding his arms up as an explosion appears in the background

via metro

Everyone will take you seriously in a suit. Even if you’re struggling to stand up and have a distinct aura of Rum about you, just whack on a shirt and tie and watch the ladies flock.

Do NOT use public transport.

A scene from The Inbetweeners with Jay shouting as he hangs outside the car

via giphy

The stress of navigating the 94 bus to work is enough to reduce a grown man to tears. Treat yourself to a taxi and thank us later (don’t send the bill, though).

Avoid all humans.

A boy covering his ears and shouting as he is surrounded by people

via gurl.com

In your state, Sir – you want to listen to us with this tip. No good can come from sharing what happened to you over the weekend (no strip club talk at work, fellas), especially to your boss.

Have a bash at an adrenaline-fuelled activity

A man pulling down his paintball mask and walking away

via hypable

You know that old saying, get back on the horse and go hurtling around a paintball course splattering your mates with paint pellets? There’s nothing like a good dose of fresh air to soothe a hangover (perhaps wait until the work day is over, however).

Or, go for a nap in the stationary cupboard.

A man in a suit napping as he rests on his arm

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There’s a time and a place for a nap at work, and that time is now. Fill your boots, son.

Take in a hip flask

A man drinking from a hip flask

via goodreads

Hair of the dog never hurt anyone, right? Unless you still think it's the stag do and you wake up at 4am in a neon green Morphsuit, handcuffed to an inflatable sheep whilst using a Doner kebab as a pillow.

And spend the rest of the night in the pub.

A scene from the film Shaun of the Dead, with two men sitting in the pub and drinking

via goodreads

Sort yourself out with a nice cold pint (and maybe even chuck in a packet of Pork Scratchings if you are feeling flash). Just four more days ‘til the weekend, lads.