We've got this
We’re a proper sporting bunch here at LNOF; you’ll always find one of us flexing our toned abs at the gym, doing some deep lunges and having a kickabout after work (or at the pub, pretending we’re at the gym), so when we were invited down to St James’ Park to play in their touch rugby tournament, we jumped at the chance. After perfecting the LNOF battle cry (it sounds a bit like a cross between a lion and a T-Rex - it's pretty impressive), we donned our replica rugby kits, gum shields and off we went. It goes without saying that we spectacularly trounced all who crossed our path and absolutely, in real life, obliterated them into rugby-flavoured dust and, since, we’ve been fending off calls from millions of agents desperate to sign us up to their rugby league teams. Unfortunately, we’ve had to turn them down (we couldn’t possibly abandon our beloved stags and hens), but, you know, it feels good to be wanted.
Well, one can dream...
After our glorious victory, it was time to celebrate Magic Weekend and watch the 12 Super League teams in action. A load of us went down to St James’ Park for the games, a few pints, and to sit in the posh bit pretending to be all fancy. Thankfully, we didn’t get called up to play (our hips were giving us proper jip after Tuesday), but we had a fantastic time drinking and cheering on the teams.
The next morning, we woke with sore heads and headed on over to LNOF HQ for a solid day’s work and, as we gazed upon our noble dominion, we thought to ourselves: How could we ever leave this? The Super League will just have to make do without us.*
*Please note: This is our recollection of events and may not be completely true.