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Things You Don't Hear in a

The day-to-day conversation in a stag and hen party office makes for some ridiculous quotes. However, what’s more worrying is that we barely notice what we’re saying anymore. And so we’ve taken to documenting it for your entertainment – and our sanity.

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"Fancy dress? Don't know what you're talking about..."

Do you think this would fit in someone's bra?

It took me a while to get into the owl zone, but once I was there, everything fell into place.

Right. Headphones in. I need to switch off from everything and take myself into lesbian mode, I'll be back in the room in a few minutes.

Is 'man wang' hyphenated?

We've had whips and cuffs since day one. Grow up.

Dick-flops have landed today.

I must have some more stiffy-related bantz.

I don't know. I think after a certain amount of time, my well of erection-based puns has run dry.

What can we say about paragliding? Can we say pant-shittingly high?

You've got to remember that you're not just browsing the internet - you're specifically looking for a fanny costume.

Hey, ladies... we've got some scented owls over here...

For this insurance policy, I need to state whether we sell any protective items. Do you reckon I need to include our rubber johnnies?

We get some really classy hens coming to us.

Do you think they'll want to get involved with anything that has a 'beasting station'?

I'm really sick of tits. I'm even bored of my own.

There's no import taxation precedent for penis-shaped flip-flops.