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Things You Don't Hear in a

Last Updated 10/11/2014

That's right, we've got another one. The quotes at LNOF HQ are coming in thick and fast, and they're starting to sound normal...

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"Fancy dress? Don't know what you're talking about..."

Do you think this would fit in someone's bra?

It took me a while to get into the owl zone, but once I was there, everything fell into place.

Right. Headphones in. I need to switch off from everything and take myself into lesbian mode, I'll be back in the room in a few minutes.

Is 'man wang' hyphenated?

We've had whips and cuffs since day one. Grow up. .

Dick-flops have landed today.

I must have some more stiffy-related bantz.

I don't know. I think after a certain amount of time, my well of erection-based puns has run dry.

What can we say about paragliding? Can we say pant-shittingly high?

You've got to remember that you're not just browsing the internet - you're specifically looking for a fanny costume.

Hey, ladies... we've got some scented owls over here...

For this insurance policy, I need to state whether we sell any protective items. Do you reckon I need to include our rubber johnnies?

We get some really classy hens coming to us.

Do you think they'll want to get involved with anything that has a 'beasting station'?

I'm really sick of tits. I'm even bored of my own.

There's no import taxation precedent for penis-shaped flip-flops.