The Saga Of Noggin The Nog...A modern Viking tale.
We recently got this email from Andy about a Stag Night he planned using our site:
I used your web site recently to help plan a my brother's Stag Night. It was a hoot so thanks for your inspiration. I wondered if you might be interested in the story we used? Feel free to use it if you want to...All the best, Andy
When we read the first part of the saga, we naturally presumed Andy was somewhat wrong in the head. But then, when the mystery was explained, we fully understood why the boys had enjoyed such a special night..!
The revised Saga of Noggin The Nog
Upon the sad death of King Knut (King of the Nogs), Prince Noggin prepares himself for one last adventure - to find a bride.
Noggin leaves the Northlands to a fanfare of his adoring admirers and can barely stagger to his longboat for passionate embraces from the loveliest maidens of all the Northlands.
Unfortunately, Noggin gets lost in high winds and finds himself on a lonely island covered in dark woods and an eery mist. To find his way around the woods Noggin climbs the tallest trees in order to scan the woods. Eventually, Noggin comes upon the home of Nargabad the witch. Fearful but desperate, Noggin humours Nargabad by joining her for a gruesome meal of things best not mentioned.
In the ensuing conversation Nargabad tells how she unwittingly unleashed a vicious monster from the underworld, and agrees to help Noggin if he can first destroy the Monster. To help him in his battle she gives Noggin a potion of strength..
Happily, Noggin defeats the Monster in armed combat and helps himself to the golden treasure littering its lair. Nargabad is so grateful she is moved to a rare moment of affection and plants a big kiss on his cheek.
In return for his deeds, Nargabad sends a helpful wind to guide Noggin to the Land of Nooks where he finds his bride, the beautiful princess Nooka. THE END
Noggin The Stag
The Stag is Noggin the Nog for the night. He has to dress up as a Viking and perform 8 tasks to win a bottle of Champagne to take home and placate his lady. If he fails, he gets it poured over him. The tasks can be performed in any order..
1: "passionate embraces from the loveliest maidens"
The Stag needs to collect 8 lipstick kisses from 8 different "maidens", with each placed clearly upon his Viking helmet!!! He may need some recruiting help from his trusty hurlsmen for this one.
2: "climbs the tallest trees"
The Stag needs to shin up a lamppost in full view of the group.
3: "a gruesome meal"
The Stag needs to eat a meal of the nastiest things the boys can come up with. How about sheep’s eyeballs, badger's bollocks, worms, weasel coffee or crocodile curry, to give but several hideous examples..?
4: "potion of strength"
The Stag needs to drink an alcoholic concoction of the boys' choice. We strongly advise against bleach, lighter fluid, absynthe and unicum
5: "destroy the monster"
Cryptic? The Stag needs to find the solution to this one on his own. (A Stripper dressed up as a Dragon!)
6: "the monster's golden treasure"
The Stag needs to be photographed with 3 gold-coloured items of women’s clothing, such as knickers, hair-bands and handbags.
7: "The Witch's Kiss"
The Stag needs a big smacker from a witch of the boys' choice.
8: "Winning The Bride"
The Stag gets to place the crown on a princess of his choice and then carries her over the threshold.
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