The Boring One
There’s always one lad who’s only there to bulk up the numbers, and he knows it. He’s Captain Sensible. Never the first to crack a joke, down a row of shots, or even speak for that matter. But, when the boozed-up alpha males are passed out in the gutter, with a dirty kebab in one hand and a flashing traffic cone in the other – he’s the loyal stallion available to provide the sobering hand to hail a taxi. At least he’ll keep the Father-of-the-Bride company.
Ever since the first mention of the stag do, he’s become a walking Filofax. There’s nothing like organised fun. This night is as much his night, as the stag’s – and, if any of the lads dare to f*@! up his meticulously planned stag do agenda – they’ll sure know about it. He's so busy planning tomorrow, that he can't relax today - brace yourselves for one regimental regime this stag weekend.
As much as he wants his best mate to have an epic send off, tonight is all about him. Whilst the lads are necking shots and ogling strippers, he’s scouring the club for any semi-reflective surface where he can catch a glimpse of his oh-so-rugged handsomeness. Convinced that anyone with a pulse either “wants to be with him, or be him”, no one will ever love this guy quite as much as he loves himself. If only the night was as big as his ego.
The Bad Influence
This lad is really going to f*@! sh*t up on this stag do. He’s a loose cannon to say the least, causing maximum carnage to himself and everyone around him. The stag will love him for it, and the organiser will hate him for it. He’ll be the instigator of all pranks, drinking games, and general banter – but, this night would be nothing without him. Although, the stag probably wouldn’t have been arrested if it wasn’t for him, but, memories and all that…
This guy goes ‘BIG’ on a stag do. With a massive reputation preceding him, he’s not satisfied until he pulls - and, not put off by rejection (this is a rarity, of course) - he’ll pester every girl until one finally caves. He’s a no strings attached, direct Lothario - with reams of chat-up lines in his arsenal. As expected from a proficient seducer, he’s left a trail of broken hearts behind him.
A stag do is a fantastic excuse to get tanked up – and this guy is going to do just that. He’ll drink everyone under the table, with an alcohol tolerance like no other - this fella proudly holds the title of ‘Boozehound’. Not content with just getting plastered himself, he’s the one chanting at all the others to ‘see it off’ – and he’s the reason the Groom cannot move the morning after the stag do. He may end the night passed out in a bush with a Donner kebab hanging off his chin – but he’ll have made some sound memories.
He was always picked last for teams in P.E. in school, he’s never had a second date and any moves he makes on women are continually pied. This guy is, put simply, a 24 carat reject. As much as he tries, his smooth talkin’ with the girls just propels him deeper into ‘the friend zone’. But, God does love a trier.
There’s always one lad who just can’t handle his booze. Spurred on by The Boozehound, he’ll drink more than he’s capable of (a solid three pints), only to be later found slumped in a corner - or spewing in the toilets at 9pm. Keep an eye on this one – he’s the one everyone will be drawing on/covering in squirty cream/shaving/gaffa-taping/all of the above, later on. One thing’s for sure – his night’s going to cost a lot less than the others’.
He’s not happy unless he’s asserting his masculinity by throwing his weight around, and trying his luck in rowdy bar brawls. He’s the one who’ll get you kicked out of clubs for starting fights because someone ‘looked at him funny’. The Organiser and The Boring One will try to calm him down – and will probably end up with a black eye. Did he mention that he benches 200kg, and could “’av any one of yaz in ‘ere”? Sit down, man.