Being a stag and hen company, Team LNOF aren’t phased by the odd plastic penis or two scattered around the office. But this time we got to design our own! All around two tables in the break rooms were multiple white dicks standing tall waiting for their artist. With some bubbly or beer in hand, we each chose a pecker to paint. Our lovely instructor talked us through our supplies and gave us some great tips on how and what to paint on our 3D canvases.
Cock-centrating
The team took their time on choosing how to decorate their dicks. The instructor came around and suggested some designs to us to help our indecisiveness. She had loads of examples from other groups sessions, it was just the inspiration we needed. Soon we were stuck in, and the tables were surrounded by multi-coloured members. All colours of the rainbow were passed around the table as we all got struck with inspiration. Some of us found the feathers, gems, glitter and other accessories and before long you couldn’t see the table beneath the inevitable arts and crafts mess.
Painting with dick-termination
Paintbrush to penis, the team were so concentrated on their master-penises. Looking around the table you could see the cocks come to life. Willy Wallace, A Dapper Dick. Elton Schlong, Cact-peen-us and Father Dick-mas were just a few of the punny penises on display. Others were more abstract like a leopard print or zebra print phallus or just cool characters like Sully from Monsters Inc, a Leprechaun or Barbie. Some of the team got creative with the orientation of the mould and turned the shaft into a trunk for an elephant, a beak for a bird and even the body of a dog with pipe cleaners for legs. All dicks bright and beautiful, everyone’s creativity shone through in the rudest way imaginable.
Spots and Stripes
After an hour of creative concentration, it was time to choose the best penis in show. With over 20 designs to choose from, Matt had a hard time (no pun intended...) picking the prize penis. After much consideration, he awarded Beth’s Elton Schlong with 1st place. Covered in glitter, feathers and rhinestones he was the right choice for the winner. He even had mini glasses on! How could anyone compete with that?!
Elton Shlong was top dog
With penises painted and the winner chosen, it was time for a willy themed quiz. Manhood mascots by our sides, we tested our knowledge on the male genitalia with questions like: what country has the biggest penises? and what country has a penis museum? It’s Ecuador and Iceland by the way, great knowledge for your next pub quiz. Kat came out on top for the quiz, knowing random dick facts pays off sometimes.
Biblically accurate penis
You can now find our finished pieces pride of place on desks and around the office. Standard décor for the Last Night of Freedom HQ.
Our masterpieces standing proud
This is available in Newcastle, Glasgow, Edinburgh, Brighton and London. We also offer a and a if you’d prefer painting the female genitalia.