The Top 20 Rudest

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SURPRISE

Surprise your secret Santa!

It's the most wonderful time of the year, so why not be a little rude? The tree is going up in the office and you’ve picked names out of a hat. Secret Santa is one of the best times to give an inappropriate gift because they don’t have to know it was you (just blame it on the elves). Have a peek at our 20 best Secret Santa gifts to sleigh Christmas this year.

20.

Willy Sponge - £1.99

Two pink and one grey willy sponge

These handy little things are not just rude, they have the uncanny ability to double up as a gift for that smelly person in the office who will hopefully take the subtle hint.


19.

Mankini - £9.49

Three images of a man wearing a bright green mankini or an asymmetrical thong

You quite like the bloke you’ve pulled out of the hat. Does your Secret Santa have the balls to try this Mankini on? You will soon find out.


After Dinner Mint Choclate Nipples

There are loads of edible willies, why not change it up and gift some minty nipples. Keeping it classy of course.


A man posing wearing willy and bum shorts

Imagine the look on their face when they pluck their Secret Santa gift from under the tree and are met with a lovely pair of blue shorts. The willy and bum poking out are just a bonus.


16.

Superhero Thong - £9.99

Someone modelling the superhero thong

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, its Richard from accounting. You've drawn the office hero, well you're in luck because every hero needs a beautifully crafted, bright red superhero thong.


15.

Filthy Snap - £7.99

Filthy Snap Game Box and Cards

This matching game is a perfect way to shout at your friends about rude things. Great gift for a competitive spirit.


14.

Tie On Boobs - £2.99

Tie on boobs

Make your lucky recipient look like a tit this Christmas.


13.

Jizz Game - £18.99

The hen party jizz game being played and in its packaging

Billed as 'a bit like pie face, but with jizz', this is the ultimate hilarious party game. With the ability to 'climax' alcohol, they’ll wonder why they ever entertained any other kind of willy.


Grow your own willy in package and by itself

It’s a grower. Give this hilarious growing willy to someone with a good sense of humour. Just add water.


Two men wearing big inflatable willies

This would be an effective way to resolve any office rivalries. Your lucky recipient will love to show these inflatable willies off.


10.

Edible Anus - £5.99

An edible chocolate anus.

Add a twist to the traditional box of chocolates this Christmas with the edible anuses. Nothing says Christmas like munching on a butt hole.


09.

Dick Head Hoopla - £9.99

Two men playing dickhead hoopla

Throw a hoop towards a dickhead. Make sure they’re wearing the willy head staps first.


08.

Sex Pasta - £2.99

Penis shaped pasta in four different coulours

Ooh saucy! Add some spice to your gift, in more ways than one, with these chilli willies.


07.

Willy Slippers - £11.99

Some novelty hen party willy slippers

Everyone one loves to be cosy and snuggle up on the sofa with some slippers, why not add a rude twist?


06.

Boob Cube - £4.99

Rubix style cube with boobs.

This ultimate brain teaser has a boob for everybody, just don't get your titties in a twist. They’ll be entertained and mesmerised for hours.


05.

Racing Willies - £3.99

Four differently coloured racing willies

Go Willies Go! Three tiny little peckers fighting to come first, what’s not to love? Gift these racing willies and watch as the competitive colleagues come out and the bets roll in.


04.

Cum Face Game - £38.49

Cum face game in box

Cum face is the fast action 'penis pumping' challenge perfect for an office party. It’s a bit more expensive than other products on this list, but its worth it.


A rainbow coloured willy lolly

Taste the rainbow. If you're looking for a gift for someone who loves sucking on a rock hard... lolly, then this rainbow willy lolly the perfect gift for them, fruity and delicious.


02.

Willy Toothbrush - £1.99

A toothbrush in the shape of a willy against a white background

Can we just take a moment to appreciate that this product is actually in existence? The willy shaped toothbrush could be filling your stocking this season.


01.

I love Cock Mug - £4.99

White mug with I heart cock on it

And the Number 1 Secret Santa Gift is the … *Drum Roll* I Love Cock Mug! This is the perfect gift for someone in the office, they can have it on their desk, loud and proud for everyone to admire.


Last Updated - 28/03/2022

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