The Top 20 Rudest

It's that time of the year again, Dawn from Accounts has brought around the tinsel brimmed hat and the present hunting begins. That's right, we’re talking about Secret Santa. This year, why not get tongues wagging with a seriously rude and inappropriate gift for your lucky recipient? And, the best part is that they'll never know it was you. You cheeky little elf.

20.

Willy Sponge - £1.49

Two pink and one grey willy sponge

These handly little things are not just rude, but have the uncanny ability to double up as a gift for that smelly person in the office who will hopefully take the subtle hint.


19.

Mankini - £9.49

Three images of a man wearing a bright green mankini or an asymmetrical thong

You quite like the bloke you’ve pulled out of the hat. Is nice! But does he have the balls to wear one of these mankinis? You're about to find out.


18.

Willy Eye Mask - £4.99

Men wearing willy eye masks

A handy eye mask with an additional huge willy between the eyes? Perfect. The long, straggly pubes are just an added bonus, wouldn’t you agree?


17.

Willy and Bum Shorts - £5.99

A man posing wearing willy and bum shorts

Imagine the look on their face when they pluck their Secret Santa gift from under the tree and are met with a lovely pair of blue shorts. The willy and bum poking out are just a bonus.


16.

Biggest Willy in the World - £3.99

Some pictures of the world's largest willy product in use

A massive d*ck is not just for Christmas, it’s for life. When you see ridiculously hot girls throwing themselves at him on your next staff night out, you’ll know he’s given them a flash of his ankle.


15.

Willy through Head - £3.99

Two men wearing willy through the head products

Frankenstein bolts through the neck are so last year. Crank it up a season with this magical optical illusion of a willy through their head.


14.

Willy Glasses - £2.99

Two men wearing willy glasses

If they’re a bit of a nerdy book worm, or just a classic hipster, give them the gift of specs appeal with a twist.


13.

Jizz Game - £14.99

The hen party jizz game being played and in its packaging

Billed as 'a bit like pie face, but with jizz', this is the ultimate hilarious party game. With the ability to 'climax' alcohol, they’ll wonder why they ever entertained any other kind of willy.


12.

Succulent Willy Lollypop - £1.99

Two men wearing willy through the head products

Why settle for a willy lollypop when you could gift a succulent willy lollipop? Strawberry flavoured, it’ll be the best thing they’ve sucked all year.


11.

Prosecco Willies - £4.99

Presecco flavoured Willy shaped lollies

Make your fizz filthy with this willy themed tipple and jizztastic jellies.


10.

Edible Anus - £5.99

An edible chocolate anus.

Add a twist to the traditional box of chocolates this Christmas with the edible anuses, because nothing says Christmas like munching on a butt hole.


09.

Dick Head Hoopla - £9.99

Two men playing dickhead hoopla

Question: What’s ruder (and funnier) than strapping d*cks onto your heads and trying to throw hoops onto them? Answer: Not much, really.


08.

Gummy Kama Sutra - £3.99

Gummy Kama Sutra sweets

These sexy sweets will make a hillarious addition to any office Christmas party... Just keep Karen in accounts away from them.


07.

Willy Slippers - £9.99

Some novelty hen party willy slippers

Every girl loves nothing more than getting home, getting her comfies on and snuggling up on the sofa. Now, add willy adorned slippers into this image. There, that’s better.


06.

Boob Cube- £4.99

Rubix style cube with boobs.

This ultimate brain teaser has a boob for everybody, just don't get your titties in a twist.


05.

Racing Willies - £3.99

Four differently coloured racing willies

Three tiny little peckers fighting to come first, what’s not to love?


04.

Hot Bods Cupcake Set - £9.99

Hot Bods Cupcake Set in a box

There's not a soggy bottom in sight with this sexy cake set, perfect for a cheeky festive gathering. Mary Berry would approve.


03.

Penis Mug - £2.49

A mug with a penis as the handle

They love coffee and they love d*ck. This cheeky Secret Santa gift has got their name written all over it.


02.

Willy Toothbrush - £1.99

A toothbrush in the shape of a willy against a white background

Can we just take a moment to appreciate that this product is actually in existence? Not only that, but the willy shaped toothbrush could be filling your stocking this season. Ooh err.


01.

Willy Hot Water Bottle - £9.99

Two men wearing willy through the head products

This one is number one for a reason. *Drum roll please*. Literally the hottest thing she’s taken to bed with her in years, the willy hot water bottle is the ultimate rudest Secret Santa present. Offset by the pastel pink pubic hair, this tiny pecker will keep her company all night long.


Last Updated - 25/11/2019

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