This theme is for the traditionalists out there.
For those who want to shun embarrassingly macho displays of muscle-flexing in favour of old-fashioned masculinity and true honour.
Forget that 3-bedroomed semi-detached house in Gateshead – you live in a magnificent castle. That battered Ford Mondeo? Pah - you ride a horse. You no longer have your current account with NatWest and your 15.6% APR credit card that you swore was going to be usedfor emergencies only – but you do have a small bag of gold and silver. We-hey!
You are a man who would defend the honour of a fair maiden - and you are prepared to fight to the death. We say death, we’re dealing withan in inflatable sword here. The best you could really do is give the man in question a slap in the face with it andwatch him be vaguely insulted. By all means attempt to kill, but you’re more likely to die of boredom as you smack him with this floppyrubber weapon again and again. And again. And again. And again.
We told you it would be a long night.