Things You Don't Hear in a

The quotes at LNOF HQ range from the hilarious, to the downright ridiculous to the people-would-look-at-us-funny-in-the-street... We thought we'd document it all for your pleasure (and our embarrassment).

Things You Dont Hear in a normal office
Head of E-Commerce, Will: "Apparently the cucumber dick isn't sticky enough, so I'm going to have to issue a refund."

This week I'll be mostly chasing up missing vibrators from the last foreplay class.

If you finish unpacking that box, I’ll just blow up The Captain

What’s the opposite of a hand grenade?

Do you think that in honour of the Eurovision we should do bearded nipples?

How are you meant to compare the size of inflatable bananas when one supplier is using the metric system?

The gimp masks have arrived, you’ll be pleased to know.

What’s your top sexiest insect?

What's happening to the man in that photo?
I think he's being milked

I don’t think that Muff-Diving Mark wants a size 12 woman’s t-shirt.

I don’t think we have a designated pimp area.

Sh*t, I’ve got 288 inflatable parrots. What’s the best time of year to sell inflatable parrots?

Last Updated - 16/11/2018

Why Choose LNOF

A circular images of a man dressed as a Mexican

Dedicated Event Planner

Your very own event planner is on hand to help you every step of the way

A circular images of a man dressed in a superhero costume

24 Hour Emergency Assistance

Our team of stag and hen specialists are available 24/7 while you are on your weekend

A circular images of a woman in an opposuit

Full Financial Protection

Relax, you're covered. LNOF are proud members of ABTA so you can book with confidence

Enquire Now

An icon of an exclamation markPlease check above for errors.