Things You Don't Hear in a

The quotes at LNOF HQ range from the hilarious, to the downright ridiculous to the people-would-look-at-us-funny-in-the-street... We thought we'd document it all for your pleasure (and our embarrassment).

Things You Dont Hear in a normal office
Head of E-Commerce, Will: "Apparently the cucumber dick isn't sticky enough, so I'm going to have to issue a refund."

  • "This week I'll be mostly chasing up missing vibrators from the last foreplay class"
  • Sales Manager, Garry, getting graphic
  • "If you finish unpacking that box, I’ll just blow up The Captain"
  • Accessory photo-shoot negotiations
  • "What’s the opposite of a hand grenade?"
  • It's a bear
  • "Do you think that in honour of the Eurovision we should do bearded nipples?"
  • Head Honcho preparing to respond to social and cultural influences - like a pro
  • "How are you meant to compare the size of inflatable bananas when one supplier is using the metric system?"
  • A common dilemma
  • "The gimp masks have arrived, you’ll be pleased to know"
  • Phew
  • "What’s your top sexiest insect?"
  • Well, exactly. We get everything out on the table in this office
  • "What's happening to the man in that photo?" "I think he's being milked"
  • The office inspects the suspect photographs that one of our stag groups sent in...
  • "I don’t think that Muff-Diving Mark wants a size 12 woman’s t-shirt"
  • Jamie was right. Muff-Diving Mark did not
  • "I don’t think we have a designated pimp area"
  • #middleclassproblems
  • "Sh*t, I’ve got 288 inflatable parrots. What’s the best time of year to sell inflatable parrots?"
  • Head of E-Commerce, Will, battling with market trends

Last Updated - 14/08/2023

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