Things You Don't Hear in a Normal Office #2

This week I'll be mostly chasing up missing vibrators from the last foreplay class. Sales Manager, Garry, getting graphic.

If you finish unpacking that box, I’ll just blow up The Captain Accessory photo-shoot negotiations.

What’s the opposite of a hand grenade? It's a bear.

Do you think that in honour of the Eurovision we should do bearded nipples? Head Honcho preparing to respond to social and cultural influences - like a pro.

How are you meant to compare the size of inflatable bananas when one supplier is using the metric system? A common dilemma.

The gimp masks have arrived, you’ll be pleased to know. Phew.

What’s your top sexiest insect? Well, exactly. We get everything out on the table in this office.

What's happening to the man in that photo?
I think he's being milked The office inspects the suspect photographs that one of our stag groups sent in...

I don’t think that Muff-Diving Mark wants a size 12 woman’s t-shirt. Jamie was right. Muff-Diving Mark did not.

I don’t think we have a designated pimp area. #middleclassproblems

Sh*t, I’ve got 288 inflatable parrots. What’s the best time of year to sell inflatable parrots? Head of E-Commerce, Will, battling with market trends.