Things You Don't Hear in a

This started as a bit of a laugh, if we're honest. We started documenting the ludicrous conversations going on in a stag and hen company's office, partly for your entertainment - and partly for our sanity. But we didn't think we'd have this many and they're showing no signs of running out.

We take staff training very seriously here at LNOF HQ.

  • "What you need, is an over-arching moustache theme"
  • Fan-tash-tic
  • "You can’t use blasphemy on the website" "Don’t we sell a vicar having sex with a blow up doll?" "Erm… yeah okay fair enough"
  • Moral issues in the editorial department
  • "What constitutes as an 'active' use of a vibrator?"
  • Erm. I couldn't possibly say
  • "What’s the opposite of arousal? That’s basically how I feel after looking at that product"
  • Says a lot for our shop accessories
  • "How often do you pick up the wrong flamingo?"
  • Our themes photo-shoots. B**stard flamingos everywhere
  • "Pin the Willy on the Midget was a roaring success, so Kiss the Midget is sure-fire winner"
  • The market wants what the market wants...
  • "Is it acceptable to refer to Where’s Wally as a sexual deviant?"
  • Actually, yes. It is. Check out Where's Wenda as one of our hen night themes for evidence
  • "Pimps didn’t get a look in after a couple of disastrous attempts"
  • It's harder than you think to write about pimp costumes without sounding supportive of the sex trade
  • "How many fake bottoms do you want?" "They’re going quite well. I’ll take 5"
  • Only 5? Pretty restrained, really...
  • "We need to start selling chest hair at this company"
  • It would help to make the 1970s pimp costumes look more authentic
  • "I can’t muster the enthusiasm for neon face paint this morning"
  • Who can?
  • "Does it give off the wrong impression to describe us as ‘cock connoisseurs’?" "I think that ship has sailed to be honest"
  • Up to our eyes in writing about willy accessories, as you do
  • "Awesome. Tasty Tyrone is back in the house"
  • Yes he is. Tasty Tyrone is here to stay

Last Updated - 14/08/2023

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