Things You Don't Hear in a

This started as a bit of a laugh, if we're honest. We started documenting the ludicrous conversations going on in a stag and hen company's office, partly for your entertainment - and partly for our sanity. But we didn't think we'd have this many and they're showing no signs of running out.

We take staff training very seriously here at LNOF HQ.

What you need, is an over-arching moustache theme.

You can’t use blasphemy on the website. Don’t we sell a vicar having sex with a blow up doll?Erm… yeah okay fair enough.

What constitutes as an 'active' use of a vibrator?

What’s the opposite of arousal? That’s basically how I feel after looking at that product.

How often do you pick up the wrong flamingo?

Pin the Willy on the Midget was a roaring success, so Kiss the Midget is sure-fire winner.

Is it acceptable to refer to Where’s Wally as a sexual deviant?

Pimps didn’t get a look in after a couple of disastrous attempts.

How many fake bottoms do you want?

They’re going quite well. I’ll take 5.

We need to start selling chest hair at this company.

I can’t muster the enthusiasm for neon face paint this morning.

Does it give off the wrong impression to describe us as ‘cock connoisseurs’?

I think that ship has sailed to be honest.

Awesome. Tasty Tyrone is back in the house.

Last Updated - 18/11/2020

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