Things You Don't Hear in a Normal Office #4

Can I read this to you and see if you think I’m promoting obesity? Yup. She was.

I’ve got a customer who can’t decide whether he wants to be a Ninja Sanitary Towel or a Pepperami. It's a tricky one.

I’ve hit the archery wall. Nothing more to say about archery… or is there? #medievalproblems

Right-o, let’s sign off this massive nob. Not a euphemism.

What’s the difference between harness-zorbing and body-zorbing? A lot, apparently.

You’ll never guess how much we’ve spent on cocks this year. More than you've had hot dinners.

Great news, guys. Ricky Martin – not THAT Ricky Martin – but a different Ricky Martin, has just made a bold gimp costume purchase. Well done, old chap.

What can we say about paragliding? Can we say pant-shittingly high?
Probably not.

Is it okay to describe the Adult Baby Costume as ‘creepy as balls’?No. Do not write that. Do not bring balls into this image.

Can you take those double-headed beer bongs downstairs when you get a sec? Obviously.

Aww no! Have we discontinued Grow Your Own Toyboy? Don't worry, everyone - we haven't.

Last time I tried that I was sick in the street. It's better if we don't explain it.