Things You Don't Hear in a

The day-to-day conversation in a stag and hen party office makes for some ridiculous quotes. However, what’s more worrying is that we barely notice what we’re saying anymore. And so we’ve taken to documenting it for your entertainment – and our sanity.

"Alison getting her freak on"

  • "What sort of shirt would fit over a pink gorilla?" "Are you referring to Alison?"
  • We christened the pink gorilla, Alison and you can find out more about Alison's personal life on our Welcome to the Jungle theme
  • "I’m just going to do a cheeky bit of sumo wrestling"
  • Better than a strong coffee at 9am, we'll tell you that for nowt...
  • "I don't know how to approach cow milking"
  • Gently, we would imagine. Not one of our most traditional activities, but important nonetheless
  • "Hey guys, you know that blow-up doll that looks like Terry Wogan? I’ve just dressed him in gimp suit. You know, for Christmas"
  • When a stag and hen company decides to film their own version of The 12 Days of Christmas, it was always going to get out of control
  • "I'm choking on a sweet cock"
  • We were eating our top-selling Cola Willies. Just thought we'd better clear that up
  • "How long does the lesbian show last for?" "I don't know, but it's not as long as the vibrator show"
  • Time-keeping is very important here at LNOF
  • "Have you just done the sexy oil wrestling?"
  • The Content Team working through activity text - we're not that sort of office
  • "Is that a space hopper?" "No - it's a tandem space hopper!"
  • Just road-testing some new return airport transfers. Watch out, Sheffield
  • "I can't get that virgin's blood off my hands. I've got an important meeting in an hour, I can't shake hands like this"
  • A lot, lot worse than it sounds. Our novelty virgin restoration hen party gift will explain all. Unfortunately, this got discontinued - the world was clearly not ready for such a wonder product
  • "Are we hyphenating nip-slip?"
  • Editorial gets serious

Last Updated - 14/08/2023

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