Things You Don't Hear in a

We're on the ninth Things You Don't Hear, and the jokes keep on coming. We're not quite sure how we get away with it, but this is what has been said at LNOF HQ this year...

A black and white group photo in Lane7, with a ping pong table in the foreground

We're a funny bunch...

  • "I'm going to go and get a large inflatable item" "Alright"
  • Easing into the quotes
  • "I'd show you a picture of my cock, but I haven't got one. I've only got one of my old one"
  • There we go. And, here is ours...
  • "I'd be alright in the wild me. I just need a bit of flint and a tampon"
  • We're born survivors at LNOF
  • "Can somebody check the best before dates on the Candy Nipple Tassles?"
  • We're all good
  • "Is renting a Penny Farthing a sport?"
  • Err, yes. Yes, it is
  • "Did you hear back from that guy about the thongs?"
  • He ghosted us
  • ""What's a nice word for penis?
  • Still working on this. We've not got far
  • "Please remember you will have to provide your own dildo"
  • Context: this is for a Butler in the Buff game. Pass the Dildo, would you believe?
  • "The stripper was running late because he couldn't find a parking space"
  • We're firmly on the right side of the law
  • "Scott, did you order the cock fighting?"
  • E-commerce have got our customers pegged, and you can fight with inflatable willies here...
  • "What's happening with those willy cups?"
  • Nothing much. The willy cups are still here, ladies and gents
  • "You pull the string to make it erect"
  • Life
  • "Will, what should I call this penis?"
  • We're open to any ideas
  • "Could you tile the sheep and boob images together, please?"
  • For the cover of Vogue...
  • "I've just got one ball in my mouth. Someone has eaten the other half."
  • The mystery continues...

Last Updated - 14/08/2023

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