- Sexy stripey one-piece
- Tash, hat and beach ball not included
- Two colours to choose from
- One size fits most
This get-up is worn by distinguished chaps in the likes of Cannes, Nice, the Costa del Sol and Venice – but in the past. No one wears sh*t like this these days.
However, you can bring this suave hunk into the present day, by sporting him on the sandy shores of Scarborough, Blackpool Pleasure Beach and Skegness.
It is imperative that you also don a straw hat and carry a terribly important-looking newspaper and comment on beautiful ladies’ pert behinds - whilst quaffing a brandy and smoking a cigar - by saying things like: ‘Golly, she’s a pretty little thing. I’d like to kick back with her for some horizontal refreshment and frolic in her cornfield, if you know what I’m saying.’
We all know what you’re saying. We all know.
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Last Night of Freedom, Statex House, Saltmeadows Road, Gateshead, NE8 3AH